Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Slowly renouncing my title of "class airhead"

Spanish teacher called on me again and the only three words I could make out from her fast Spanish sentence were "Juliana," "sentence," and "storm." Thank God that was enough to clue me. I can't afford to be class idiot for the fourth class in a row. My verb and tense were wrong, but at least I knew what she was talking about and had a sentence ready this time! It was one of my better-developed sentences too. Of course, this girl who sits two seats away from me and speaks Spanish jumped in to correct my choice of adjectives, but I didn't care! I finally got one (almost) right!

That girl who always corrects me...even though she bothers me, I admire her somehow. She's one of those people who seems to own any room she walks into. She wears these insane outfits and everybody knows her. She has people follow her and flock around her like she's famous, and I never see any of them walking next to her, only behind her. Not that I want an entourage, but I can't even imagine having that sort of...what's the word...charisma that would make people want to follow me. I have none. None at all.

Why can't I do that? Can I borrow some of her confidence for just one day? Can I not be the shy girl cowering in the corner, absolutely terrified of everyone, for a few hours? I imagine what would happen if I tried to act like her. But then, there's a reason people like me don't act like her. They can't pull it off.

Please don't label me based on the above paragraphs. I hate to have to say it, but I admire her. I don't love her.

"Gossip Girl" season premiere last night! I have yet to finish watching it. There's a whole month until "Pushing Daisies" comes back, which I'm even more excited for. I love that show.


  1. I know how you feel, for once I would love to borrow some people's confidence too. Or at least their friends, entourage, body, etc.
    I've learned something though. These people that you see now, they aren't really happy. Yeah they look it and they have everything you think you want, but in the end you are so much better off being you.
    Suncoast is odd for the self esteem because we really don't have any "outcast" sort of kids. You can't really find a group if you're not popular, therefore people like us don't really fit into their puzzle.
    College will be so much better and I know that seems like a far off time for you, but it will be there before you know it. I still have the feeling that I'm in 10th grade most of the time. Seriously it was like yesterday.

    One more thing, it's so not fair that people who speak the language are allowed to take the course! Hello free "A"?

  2. Thanks! It's not like I want to be popular or loved by everyone, but it's just that I don't even understand how people even do that. I couldn't even if I tried.

    I know! At least half my class speaks spanish already because they figured if they have to take a language, they can just take the easy one. But then they show off and make everyone else look stupid. Gah.