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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Ugh, just give it a rest.

Okay, I have some people I want to yell at, but since they're not around, this is the next best thing. There's a curfew imposed on teens in a city in my county where they can't go certain places downtown after 10 p.m. on weeknights and 11 on weekends. A bunch of kids in this youth group are fighting it, saying it's "unconstitutionally-vague" and "illegally-enforced."

Just the fact that they hyphenated those in their little statement shows how badly these kids need to stay home and read a book or two, perhaps spend a little more time studying for school and a little less time on the streets at 11 at night.

Really, people? The state barely has enough money to educate kids. They're firing teachers and dropping art programs, and you want to waste their money on something as trivial as this? REALLY?

They say teens have rights and they're taking them away blah blah blah. Bottom line is there is no reason a kid has to be walking the streets downtown after 11. Maybe it does violate whatever constitutional right minors have to loiter, but who freakin cares? The country is diving head first into a depression and THIS is what's important?

Teenagers are idiots. It kills me that I am one. If I hate teenagers now, I wonder what I'll be like when I'm an adult, if it will get worse or I'll accept them once I don't have to deal with them every day. I will probably hate them more. You know, teenagers hate that no one listens to them and that they get no respect in society, but these are the very kids who perpetuate the stereotype that teenagers are the acne on the face of society. For the most part, they are. Believe me, I spend at least seven hours a day with them in high school hell, 180 days a year.

Anyway, I'm going to turn this into a vicious cycle thing because I love to do that. The state doesn't have enough money to educate stupid teenagers who don't know not to hyphenate adverb-adjective phrases. They get next to nothing to do for homework, have no sense of responsibility, any semblance of a work ethic, or a motivation to do anything worthwhile during their twilight-zone teen years (Now that is how you use a hyphen) except hang around downtown after 10 on a school night. These kids get their only kicks from their late-night escapades, and after numerous problems, the government took their lives' fulfilment away from them. Some kids in a group that advocates the rights of youth decided to do something productive and SUE for this curfew law. In suing, they're taking money away from the state, which doesn't have enough money for basic things like education that these kids probably need badly.

Yeah, it's a bit of a stretch, but it's cathartic ranting.

To wrap it up, teenagers are stupid. This lawsuit is stupid. All of you kids who feel that staying out that late is important, go home and read a book. It's not the most important thing worth fighting for right now.

Love,
Juliana

Friday, June 26, 2009

When Harry Met Sally

So I watched When Harry Met Sally since I hear a lot about it, but I didn't think there was anything overly special about it. It was cute, but a lot like all the other "boy meets girl" movies. It was kind of slow, too, which doesn't usually bother me, but doesn't make a movie better than ordinary either. One interesting point they made was that men and women can never just be friends because sex is always a possibility and having that out there messes it up, even if they don't think so.

This scene was funny. I was waiting for the predictable line at the end, and I was cracking up when it came.



Does anyone else think Meg Ryan looks a little like Alicia Silverstone here?

I also found out that the girl with leukemia in My Sister's Keeper is played by Sofia Vassilieva. She was Eloise at the Plaza! Eloise at the Plaza is such a cute movie. The first time I found out the girl from Eloise was actually a couple weeks older than me, I couldn't believe it. She was 10 in that movie. She didn't look 10. I want to see My Sister's Keeper, even though it looks sad. I love Abigail Breslin. My friends said it was a good book.

Completely unrelated, the Chevron station by my house delivers pizza. Go figure.

Love,
Juliana

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Hey, something actually important in my junk drawer

I found a scrapbook in my junk drawer, you know the drawer you throw stuff into when you don't have a place for it, that I made when I was little. By my handwriting and the dates of the pictures inside, I must have been about seven.


I put a Chuck-E-Cheese picture on that page. Chuck-E-Cheese isn't even around here anymore. The out-of-focus polaroid at the bottom is the day I got my ears pierced and got my picture taken with Daffy Duck in front of the WB store, which also no longer exists.

Anny was an adorable baby.

Love,
Juliana

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Keep up, this is gonna go quick.

**Contacts hurt. Lucky people who says they don't.

**Having a headache while your stuck in a boring store isn't fun. It's less fun when that store is Home Depot and the persistent sound of power drills is piercing your skull. You'd think it's the noise that does the drilling, but no. Also doesn't help when it's your sister who refuses to take her hand off the button because it's "so much fun to play with."

**Trey from "Sex and the City" is such a nerd. He's so annoying, then again, so is Charlotte. I liked Steve, he was sweet.

**I don't like Goji berries. Weird things. No wonder they're healthy, they taste like health food.

**Good news at the periodontist this morning: I have a date with an oral surgeon a few weeks from now to rip out secondary teeth, and if I'm lucky, I'll get my braces off two years into college. Excellent. (Well, I am thankful that I can get it fixed, just mad that I have all these problems in the first place.)

**What's up with ABC Family making "Original Series" based off movies? "Make it or Break it" is obviously based off Stick it, but they didn't say that. They say in the commercials that "10 things I hate about you" is based off the movie with the same name, but how can they make TV shows about those movies? They're pretty beginning-middle-end.

**On the topic of ABC Family, I'm still not on board with "Secret Life of the American Teenager." I know it's going for the dramatic edge "My So-Called Life" had, but...I'll actually maybe one day try watching a whole episode and then judge, but from the pieces of episodes I've seen, I think it's stupid.

**I heard this on the Today Show. There a Calvin Klein ad up in Times Square, and they were talking about whether it's too much for the middle of a crowded place. Shows how far we've come from the controversy in the 80's over "Nothing comes between me and my Calvins."

Reminds me of the Gossip Girl ads from last year that dominated 12 bilboards per square mile in Los Angeles. (I got to see them in person. Here's another one. And this one has Chase Crawford in it.)

**Speaking of Chase Crawford, he's People Magazine's Hottest Bachelor of the Summer. Did I not call that? I was way ahead of them. Now people can stop asking my why I obsess over him. "Duh, he's People's Hottest Bachelor!" I'm buying that issue. It's supposed to come out this week.



His character's one of the least interesting on the show (Ed Westwick's character is definitely the best, and Ed does an awesome American accent), but Chase is still my favorite.

Love,
Juliana

Monday, June 15, 2009

I watched the rest

I watched the rest of Face/Off! I had to see what happens. It's actually a good movie. Don't think I could watch it a second time, though. The creepy stuff ends about 45 minutes into the movie anyway. Then it's just violent. Once you get used to the concept, it's not as disturbing.

Face/Off

Go ahead and say I've lived a sheltered life, but this is by far the creepiest and most disturbing movie I've ever seen.



It stars Nicholas Cage as basically a terrorist who was responsible for a jillion crimes, assassinations, kidnappings, bombings, shootings. The FBI has been after him, and a certain FBI agent (John Travolta) with a personal vendetta against him SWITCHES FACES with the guy while he's in a coma to get on the inside of a planned bombing. That's the spoiler-free version. I'm going to talk about what actually happened, which isn't very spoilerific anyway since I could only watch the first 45 minutes of the movie before I ran out of the room.

I really wanted to know what happened, which is why I watched it as long as I did. I want to watch the rest of it now, but my mom took it back. My mom was the one who picked it. She doesn't read movie descriptions, she just sees actors' names and goes with it. Neither of us knew anything about it.

Don't read this if you don't want to know what happens in the first 45 minutes.

The cop puts the terrorist in a coma, accidentally. They decide that the only way to get his cohorts to talk and tell where the bomb he planted in an airport is, he has to become him. A plastic surgeon removes Nick Cage's face and Travolta's face, put's Cage's face on Travolta and saves Travolta's face in some liquid in a glass container for safekeeping so he could reverse the procedure later. The FBI agent is now in a maximum security prison where he gets tasered and has to wear heavy magnetic boots that the guards can lock down at any time.

Okay, now where I started to squirm. The terrorist wakes up from the coma. He has no face (which they showed and it was DISTURBING). He finds Travolta's face and realizes what happened to him, forces the plastic surgeon to put Travolta's face on him, and then pours gasoline over the surgeon and all other people involved and sets them on fire, along with all documents proving who's who. Making it irreversible.


It's actually pretty cool, and if you can handle stuff like this, you'd probably like it.

Love,
Juliana

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Crowding the Internet, one stupid picture at a time

This is written on the wall of the construction site near my house. It doesn't make that much sense...until you think about a ghost writing that after being murdered and buried under a house where no one would look. I have too much time to think.


This struck me as funny. At the (I guess county) fair that comes in every year, there's a tent of live chickens. It's sponsored by Kentucky Fried Chicken? Am I the only one who finds humor in that?


Just a really, really cute bunny.


My sister had a surprise birthday party for one of her friends and got silly string. That stuff is so annoying to clean up, and I didn't realize until yesterday how gross it actually is. We squished it all into a ball after picking it up. They handed it to me, and it was wet and slimy and grossed me out. Once they realized, they had a fun time torturing me with it. Anny squeezed it hard and milky-colored water came out of it. One of Anny's friends said it looked like a brain and called the liquid "brain juicy." Ick, where does the water even come from? They put it in a funnel in a cup to see how much water would drip out of it if they left it there.



Now this is what happens when you combine three 12-year-olds, a big box of Costco make-up, and permission from a conciliatory participant to "go crazy."



They had me make creepy faces, took pictures with their phones and sent them out to kids they wanted to scare. I always let them do this, I don't think it's a big deal, but one of Anny's friends said to me, "I can't believe you let us do this. You're such a good sister. I would be so mad." I know, a lot of people would get mad. I don't know why. It's fun. I would be scared if I saw a real person who looked like this, though. (Oh, and like my shirt? I love the little Pacman ghosts!)

I think my scary face is a good way to end this.

Love,
Juliana

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Twilight strikes again

The New Moon trailer is out! If you ever read my review (or ever talked to me about the Twilight movie), you know that everything about it was so bad that I loved it. So whether New Moon is an even worse film adaptation than the first or if it's actually decent, I'll like it.



About 1/4 of the screen is cut off. If you really want to see it, click the title.

Can't decide from the trailer if it's going to be better or worse. Looks like Kristen Stewart put a little more emotion into it this time. Pattinson, however...I'm not going to jump to conclusions and say he's a bad actor. Maybe he's just not into this role. Seriously, they need to step up the acting. If they did, though, there would be less for me to make fun of.

On a related note, three people at a charity auction apparently paid $20,000 to kiss Robert Pattinson on the cheek. What kind of person (who has any interest in kissing the Twilight vampire actor) has $20,000 to spend on it? The concept is sad, but it's a brilliant way to raise money. He should have offered to bite people. That would have made millions.

Love,
Juliana

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Fun with overanalysis!

This goes to show that boys are jerks who respond to bribes and are easily manipulated by girls. Thanks, Ralston (may the obscure brand rest in peace). You gave us not only an annoying jingle that made me jump out of my chair but a valuable lesson in boy-girl dynamics. Girls rule, boys drool?



Although...the fact that the girls ask the annoying kid to help them put up their tents is an insult to feminism if they asked him because they couldn't do it themselves. It's a win if they were using that as an excuse to get his attention. I'm going with the second one. Stupid boy, he should have seen right through that.

I'm really not as misandristic as I sound. But I'm still young. (I'm not as cynical as I sound either.)

Oh, Ralston isn't totally dead. I think it's called Post now. I can't find a clear answer on that. Even if it is, Post is pretty forgotten itself. Who can name three Post cereals? Seriously. There was a cereal in the 40's called Shredded Ralston. Ew. Could they have thought of a more unappealing way to market shredded wheat? It sounds like they shredded a person named Ralston and stuck him in a box. Kind of morbid.

On that note, I call this post to a close.

Love,
Juliana