Friday, December 3, 2010

My List of 10 Creepy Kids Shows

There are so many adorable kids' shows that just make you happy even if you aren't four years old anymore, but for every Arthur there is a Teletubbie, and for the Power Rangers there are The Wiggles. What makes a creepy kids show? Unsettling puppets, clowns, adults pretending to be children, hands with eyes...Creepiness is purest when it's unintentional, and nothing can give you the same feeling of unease you get from watching four grown men sing about fruit salad or fat colorful fluffballs with baby heads swirl around.

These are the ten children's shows I think belong on a list of creepy.

The Teletubbies - Personally, I don't think the Teletubbies are all that creepy, just weird. I think the whole adoption of Tinkie Winkie as a gay symbol is creepy, but that's just adults once again ruining children's shows with sex. People always ruin innocent things. Weird colorful alien things that make weird noises and have TVs in their stomachs are strange creatures, but the one thing that gives me a weird feeling in my stomach is that sun baby. What is that? The sun baby with it's strange laugh and gazing eyes...the first time I've ever been creeped out by a baby.

The Wiggles - I loved The Wiggles when I was little, but it's a little unsettling to watch four grown men wiggle. Although I promote their effort to encourage wiggling among the youth population, it's uncomfortable to watch them do the wiggling.

Angela Anaconda - I watched this when I was little because the animation interested me, but holy crap is this weird. They look like magazine cut-outs of faces pasted on cartoon bodies and they move like paper dolls.

Howdy Doody - This show was on way before I was born and I never saw it, but this puppet is going to haunt my dreams.

Oobi - Hands. With eyes. That talk. I wouldn't call this one creepy, but it's definitely weird. My question here: Why? Do preschool aged children really have such simplistic minds that they can be entertained watching hands on a TV screen? If they're going to watch Oobi, they might as well just make their own hand puppets.

Wonder Pets - I think this show is more annoying than creepy. This was my final choice, and it was between this and The Backyardigans, but I don't think The Backyardigans can be considered creepy. I just hate them. The Wonder Pets are cartoons made to look like real animals that sing, but the creepier thing is their attempted baby voices. They don't match, and the songs combined with the animation is just...unsettling. My sister used to watch this show, and I could never decide whether I thought it was cute or creepy. All I knew was I felt uncomfortable watching it, and I don't think that's what guinea pigs, baby ducks, and turtles are supposed to make you feel.

Boohbah - I have two theories for the creation of Boobah. The first is that the creator was tripping acid. The second is that this was an attempt to outdo The Teletubbies' weirdness. Someone saw Tinkie Winkie, Dipsy, Lala, and Po and thought "Nope, not creepy enough. We can do better." I would say they succeeded. This truly screws with your mind. Once I start this video, I can't look away.

The Doodlebops - I hate clowns. I don't know who decided clowns were funny. The only funny thing about them is the funny feeling I get when they come too close. The Doodlebops combine the weirdness of adults wiggling with the scariness of clowns. The pink one's hair looks like it's plastic. I'm sure if she decided to take her revenge, she could kill you with her head.

Lazy Town - This Circa 2006 Icelandic Nick Jr. show scares me more than any of the others, even Boobah. The pink haired girl who is more flexible than any normal little girl, a superhero with a pedo-fake mustache, and the villian with plastic chin extensions together with the weird-looking puppets all in an uncomfortable setting make for a weird show. The girl's name is Julianna actually, and she was 15 in this show. I know. She doesn't look 15. Because of the ridiculous gymnastics she does, when you search this show you get more icky results from perverted adults than you do about the actual show.

I could have put Mr. Rogers on this list, but I don't think he belongs on it. I don't think he's creepy. I always felt like watching that show was like spending some time with someone else's grandpa, and even though it was boring, it was comforting.

Conclusion? Um. Creepy kids shows are creepy.



  1. I agree with all of these. Boooohbaaaaah >D

  2. i totally agree...

  3. when I was 7 years old and watched these shows I did not get creeper out in any way and kids think less about the symbolic meaning on something. Maybe its just because I have a higher tolerence for creepy