Wednesday, April 7, 2010

What are my secrets?

I'm one of those people that doesn't really have any secrets. I was thinking about this last night, and when I was trying to sleep, I started thinking about how I tell people just about everything about me (Obviously. I'm babbling about myself on the internet again). To fall asleep, I usually ask myself a question that's hard to answer. So I asked myself, What are my secrets?

I started thinking about all the things I don't like to talk about. Even though there aren't many things, I realized that I do have secrets. Everyone has secrets. Some are serious and can eat people alive, but little secrets can be kind of fun. I'm reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, and one of the characters says "the commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it."

It's kind of like back in 5th grade when telling someone about the boy you liked was a major gesture of friendship, sealed with a pinky promise swearing you to secrecy. It wasn't a big deal, but it was privileged information, which made it significant.

So I was thinking today about my own list, and I decided to write it down, but for some reason, I couldn't make myself write them down because I didn't want to see them in print. For the same reason I've never been able to have a diary, I think secret thoughts that are never spoken are nothing more than thoughts. You can definitely convince yourself that they're not real because not you or anyone else can see or hear them. Secrets only become true once they're out, and once someone knows, there's no turning back.


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