Movie Checklist

Hey, imaginary readers! Remember that list of Christmas movies that I wanted to see before Christmas? Well, I highlighted the ones I actually got around to in purple, and I added a few non-listed ones at the bottom. I fell pathetically short of my quota.

"My self-proclaimed holiday classics that I am going to watch no matter what:
The Santa Clause
I'll be Home for Christmas (Hit that one last night! One down, the rest to go.)
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
The Santa Clause 2 (not as good as the original, but I still grew up with it)
Home Alone

Movies I've never seen but want to:
A Christmas Story
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
It's a Wonderful Life

Movies I really want to see again but have to find:
Miracle on 34th Street
A Charlie Brown Christmas
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever "

Other non-listed ones:
The Santa Clause 3
Eloise at Christmastime (did I add that one in another post? I might have.)
The Holiday (not sure if that counts)
Fred Claus (which I hope to never have to watch again as long as I live--not only do i not recommend it, but i warn you to avoid it. It is so asinine that it's almost anti-Christmas.)

I was definitely not in the holiday spirit this year. Maybe next year will feel more like Christmas.

A few Christmas pictures

Pictures from Christmas!



The three-piece band! They sing some very jazzed-up Chuck E. Cheese anamatronic versions of popular Christmas songs (Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls). My sister, her friend, and I named them. The right penguin is Paco, the left one is Pablo, and the Polar Bear is Big Mike. The band altogether is called Big Mike and the Mikettes.



This is our Christmas tree from this year, decorated with stuffed animals again out of tradition.



These are the sun lamps that my sister and I got for Christmas. They gather sunlight during the day, which charges the battery, and they glow at night.



My baby bird, Roxy, who's actually not so much a baby anymore. This has nothing to do with Christmas except that that's when I took the picture. He's cute, right? Yes, despite the feminine name, Roxy is a boy. Initially, we thought he was a girl, and it was too late to change the name. It took long enough to switch from using the pronoun "she" to "he." Sorry about the bad quality--I shut the flash off because it scares him.

Last time I gossip about celebrirties--I swear.

So evidently Jaime Lynn Spears is pregnant. This sounds unbelievably heartless on my part, but if some kids show star got knocked up, I'd rather have them be on Disney Channel than Nickelodeon. If Disney continued to be linked to scandal like the old-news Vanessa Hudgens thing, I'd have fun revelling in the irony.

I don't think they should cancel her show though. I feel bad enough for her, having her life be a notionwide topic of discussion (which I'm contributing to--oops--but whatever. No one reads this anyway.)

Though I'd also think that she'd be really careful about doing something that would interest "US Weekly" since her and her family's reputation is constantly scrutinized. I mean, I'd become a Mother Theresa if I was in the position of being compared to Britney. Oh well. It's her life.

By the way, I heard that Lynn Spears (mother of Jaime and Britney) is writing a book on parenting. Okay...she has one daughter that just got her kids confiscated from her and another daughter that won't even be of legal drinking age when her kid goes to Kindergarten. Go figure.

I'm Dusting my VCR as We Speak

Okay, have you ever been poisoned before? I haven't either, but if I had to imagine what that feels like, it would be something similar to how I felt last night. That's the kind of debilitating headache/stomachache combo that can't really be described in words. I thought I got bit by a spider in the attic yesterday getting down Christmas decorations. My dad said it was sleep deprivation. Must've been, since I slept 12 hours--I got up at 11:30, later than I hever have in my entire life. I had planned to post that previous article yesterday, but I colllapsed on my bed out of dizzyness around 11:00 last night and didn't get to it.

Okay, enough of that. The subject at hand right now is Christmas movies! I have compiled a list by category of all the movies I want to watch before Christmas--hey, I dare to dream.

My self-procalimed holiday classics that I am going to watch no matter what:
The Santa Clause
I'll be Home for Christmas (Hit that one last night! One down, the rest to go.)
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
The Santa Clause 2 (not as good as the original, but I still grew up with it)
Home Alone

Movies I've never seen but want to:
A Christmas Story
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
It's a Wonderful Life

Movies I really want to see again but have to find:
Miracle on 34th Street
A Charlie Brown Christmas
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Juliana's Christmas Countdown!

Thus begins my countdown celebration of all things Christmasey! I should officially start this in December, but nobody reads this anyway, so who's judging?

This was supposed to be my post for yesterday, and I'll get to that story in my next post, the one actually planned for today.

To start off the Christmas season, here's a picture of my fabulous Christmas tree from 2004. You probably already know this, but every year, instead of Christmas decorations, we put stuffed animals on our Christmas tree (which is fake--therefore cheaper and not as messy). All my and my sister's dolls and teddy bears over 15 years, which now just sit around if they're too grungy or sentimental to give away, get their month of glory in December.



We started doing this when I was about 5--I was helping decorate the tree and put my teddy bears on the bottom branches to "watch." My parents liked the idea of something that wouldn't break around my then baby sister.

It's really dark, but can you see the one on the very top? THat's Mrs. Tittlemouse from Beatrix Potter's "Peter Rabbit." She's out angel or star on top of the tree. :)

Mah. You really can't see it. Eh, I'll take a better picture this year. My camera's broken though. A new camera is the only thing on my Christmas list.

Mr. Napkinhead!

This is the Mr. Napkinhead scene from The Holiday (which, yes, is a total chick flick, but the writing is great, not so sappy, and the soundtrack is really good. I mean it rivals Dirty Dancing in terms of the soundtrack accompanying the mood, so don't brush it off right away. Not to imply that any movie can beat Dirty Dancing.)

It's pretty much self-explanitory, and I think it's pretty funny.

Paris Hilton Imitates Audrey Hepburn

I didn't think it was possible for anything to stain the reputation of American culture more than "South Park" already has, but I've learned a valuable lesson in not questioning their capacity for asininity.

This, right here, is not only a disgrace to American culture, but I'm sure this display is making the costume designers for Breakfast at Tiffany's roll in thier graves. If not that, then we should all be able to hear ghosts laughing if we listen close.

(I hate photo copyright laws--especially since my camera's broken)

High School Musical

If you know me, you know how much I hated High School Musical. I don't think I need to explain it--you've all heard the rant before. However, on the night of the premeire of the big #2, I was babysitting my little sister, and I promised to watch it with her. Guess what? I actually liked this one! *gasp*

Now, I'm sure my judgement was impeded when Zac Efron took his shirt off--I gained a new respect for his character. ;) :D But regardless of that, I started to see the value of High School Musical--its weightless. There's just enough drama to keep people entertained, but not enough to prompt the conservative parents to write letters to Disney. It's cute--instead of "light reading," it's "light viewing."



I used to hate that it was unrealistic. I shows kids this picture of an ideal high school with trivial problems that work themselves out in the end. Yeah, right. But, now that I am actually in high school myself, that utopian version of one doesn't seem so stupid. Its definitely nicer than a real high school. If you want a maple syrup coated story to make you feel good about the world, this is it.

I have to say HSM2 was awesome. They did a really good job with it, and I would actually watch it a second time. *gasp* again. I downloaded the music to make a CD for my sister, but I actually listen to it myself. It drains out a little bit of my famous Juliana cynicism that you've all grown to love. XD

I'm not about to rush out and buy an "I heart Troy" T-shirt, but I've grown to appreciate what High School Musical stands for. Love, happiness, and making dreams come true--we could all use some of that in our lives, no matter how old we are.

More Seinfeld

I wanted to post this video, but embedding was disabled, so here's the link.

The Elaine Dance

Sweet fancy Moses this is hilarious! I love this episode.

Communist Cow is Back!

Yes, folks! Communist Cow has returned to Juliana Talks Incoherently after a long absence, due to the limited number of hats that willl fit a stuffed cow. This is Communist Cow with a sock on his head. It looks more like a winter hat if you ask me. He was pretty cooperative about it. He says it's comfortable.

Art Vandelay

Just a few "Art Vandelay" moments. Classic "Seinfeld."

Seinfeld--George's Answering Machine

Take a minute to watch this. It's especially funny if you know the show.

Whatever Happened to Barbie?

I love this article--it's so true. The article is about how Barbie used to be a role model for girls, but she has changed to "keep up with the times" and boost sales to compete with depraved toys like Bratz.

It starts out as this girl reliving some memories about Barbie and ends in a rant about parents who buy kids these miniature-prostitute dolls and wonder why teen pregnancy is such an epidemic.

Read it, or at least skip to the text just above the Bratz doll in the blue furry jacket and read from there.

Oh, and I checked out that link she gave and found out there are 10 registered sex offenders in my zip code. 10! Registered! That means there are even more that nobody knows about! What a comforting thought. They should include that web address with the purchase of every Bratz doll.

So I was in Colonial Williamsburg the other day. It's awesome there, like a cross between Yesteryear Village at the South Florida Fair and Wannado City, but colonial. Anyway, my family and I went to dinner one night at the King's Arms Tavern there. Basically it's a restaurant that's supposed to make you feel like you're in the 18th century. It's in an old colonial house and has these guys dressed like George Washington who sing and play the fiddle...and they make you sing along.

This 5 year old at the table next to us suggested that the guy play "Yankee Doodle." and then he made fun of me for not singing loud enough. Then, because I wasn't singing loud enough, this other guy was going to make me dance with him. Instead he made a speech about how, in the Colonial days, you had to dance with whomever asked you to, or you wouldn't be able to dance with the guy you wanted to dance with. Here's a picture of the restaurant and the George Washington guy. Anny thinks he looks like Lord Beckett, but I don't know who that is.

Know anyone who says, "Red Bull tastes like crap?" That's because it is.

Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but one of the main ingredients in energy drinks, taurine, was first isolated in the bile of bulls.

Taurine is a derivative of the amino acid, cysteine, and is found in plants, fungi, bacteria, and the tissues of some animals. It's used in energy drinks because it counteracts the jittery effect you get from high doses of caffeine.
Taurus means bull in Greek, so there you go.

Another Foreign Language

While were on the subject of foreign theme songs, here's "Bear in the Big Blue House" in Danish. Again, that's probably all I need to say. I miss Bear!

Pepper Ann Theme Song

Here's the theme song to "Pepper Ann"..in German! I think that says it all.

I have abandoned "Juliana Talks Incoherently" for a while, so I've decided to come back with a tribute to the universal breakfast food that we all know and love...cereal! I have compiled a list of the top 10 best things about cereal and have published them whether you like it or not.

10. It's easy--all you need is milk, a bowl, and a spoon.
9. No cooking needed. As long as you can pour and stir, you can make it for yourself.
8. It's cheap.
7. It's non-perishable and lasts a long time.
6. You can eat it any time of day.
5. There are over a hundred varieties to choose from.
4. You can eat it dry or with milk, wither way works.
3. It's usually pretty healthy, and just about always low fat.
2. The cartoon mascots on the box are fun!
1. Cereal is a part of your childhood. The cereal you eat as a kid becomes nostalgic, and creates a memory for the rest of your life. Why else would people being offering hundreds of dollars for a box of Quisp on ebay? It's not the 30 year old cereal they want!



I got this collage from www.flickr.com. (I didn't make it myself!)

Martha Stewart Show Yesterday

Lindsay Lohan was making cream puffs with Martha Stewart on her show yesterday morning. Yeah, probably the last person you'd expect to be baking pastries with Martha. Makes for an intresting conversation topic, though.

Picture courtesy of the good people at:
http://www.popcrunch.com/lindsay-lohan-bakes-cream-puffs-with-martha-stewart/

Communist Cow's Other Hat

If you're sitting there scratching your head, wondering if there is any rational explanation whatsoever to why I call it "communist cow," here's the story.

I tried to learn how to crochet, and I thought I was doing well, but I ended up going around in circles, forming a big hat-like thing. One of my friends suggested it put it on the cow. It reminded me of the hats that the Elbonians wear in the Dilbert comic strip (they're Socialist), so I think that's how me and one of my friends landed on the name "communist cow."

Here's a picture of him in his hat. It used to be taller, but it unraveled. I personally think he looks festive in his party hat, but he doesn't seem to think so.

Communist Cow's Party Hat

I had a good controversial topic to bore you with, but it's 10:00 and I'm not feeling all that controversial right now...just tired. So here's a picture of my communist cow in a Care Bear party hat. He didn't appreciate me taking his regular hat off him, so he's sulking in the corner right now. I'll try to convince him to let me take a picture of him in his regular hat. If he decides to level with me, I'll post the picture.



I just noticed that that clock at the bottom is on Pacific time...it's about three hours slow.

One Important Question and Some Exciting News

Is "terrible tragedy" a redundancy? Any thoughts? I'm kind of undecided on this one...

And now for the highlight of my day..

I just got the entire Back to the Future trilogy at Target for $20! That's, like, $6.70 a movie! Plus 10 hours of special features! It was a limited-time sale, or something. I'm pretty happy...especially since the Blockbuster near me doesn't even have the first Back to the Future.

Yup...I'm Back...

Yes, it's true. I'm back with another blog. I kept meaning to start it, but I postponed it because 1) I only have 2 readers and 2) I couldn't think of a good first topic.

I'm going to describe the theme of this blog as everything that I cant cover in my other blogs. Miscellaneous, incoherent babbling. Enjoy, all two of you!