Toddlers and Tiaras Season Premiere

I've talked about this show before, and this post from a year ago makes my feelings abundantly clear. I feel guilty for watching it because I feel like I'm supporting baby beauty pageants, but it's like a train wreck. A creepy, sparkly, pedophillic Christmas kind of train wreck. The season premiere last night showcased the worst parents and children I have seen.

The format of the show visits the homes of three children and documents their preparations for whatever upcoming pageant is being featured on the episode. It interviews the children and the parents, then follows the three to the pageant, switching back and forth between them. It ends with crowning and final thoughts. Last night's three were dream teams of parent and children.

1) Mackenzie - Her mother is under her control

This 4-year-old knows what she wants and she does not hesitate to kick, scream, hide in closets, and whip out her sharp tongue to get it. Mackenzie dominates, and her mother seems to know this. She doesn't try to control her. In reviews I read, everyone seems to name this mother-daughter duo as the worst in the episode and Mackenzie as the most horrible child. I disagree. Mackenzie is out of control, but it's what's you would from a 4-year-old pageant child. She has a cute and funny personality, and I think she would be as sparkly as her completely inappropriate eye shadow if her mother knew how to discipline. And maybe if she wasn't thrown into baby beauty pageants. Whatever.


I like how she really exaggerates her southern accent when she's dressed up.

2) Scarlett and Isabella - When they learn to talk, I hope they yell at their mommy

The mother with her one year old twins was priceless. Oh, no, actually, there is a price. The mother with her twins was $250,000 because that's how much she spent to get her twins started in beauty pageants. She says she decided to enter them before they were even born and has a room full of dresses that cost between $1000-$2000 each. Remember that they are babies and outgrow their dresses before the dress maker is even finished adding the jewels. They take a private jet to pageants, and she name-drops designers many times during the episode.

I can't find a video or picture of these people yet, but that's okay. They're nothing special. The babies aren't anything special. They're cute like all chubby-cheeked babies are cute, but Gerber won't be calling them for a photo shoot. The mother said she's been married more times than she wants to say and looks like a heavy smoker with tattoo'd arms and a drawn face, which we notice as she talks about the importance of facial beauty.

What made me laugh out loud was how she actually gives pep talks to her daughters. They're barely a year old. They can't even stand yet. She tells them "You need to do your best in this pageant" blah blah blah and yells at one child to look at her. This lady is delusional if she thinks she can give a pep talk to a baby, but I guess when you spend a quarter of a million dollars to play dress up with infants, the reality ship has already left the dock.

3) Danielle - 8 years old and pure evil. Nothing else.

I think this is best described with a quote.

"If I don't win, I *will* trash the hotel room."

Watch her in action. I was actually hoping for her not to win. This brat needs to be backhanded. She whined about other girls stealing her spotlight. She says she doesn't believe in beauty sleep because she's naturally beautiful. She says she doesn't like to wear makeup because she knows she's beautiful enough without it. She says she would jump on the judges if she didn't win. She ran off the stage crying when she lost supreme title. I was satisfied. Such a little biotch.

Another observation: So many of the pageant moms who babble on about the importance of physical beauty look like Danielle's mom.


I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that they are living through their daughters.

Love,
Juliana