Toddlers and Tiaras Season Premiere

I've talked about this show before, and this post from a year ago makes my feelings abundantly clear. I feel guilty for watching it because I feel like I'm supporting baby beauty pageants, but it's like a train wreck. A creepy, sparkly, pedophillic Christmas kind of train wreck. The season premiere last night showcased the worst parents and children I have seen.

The format of the show visits the homes of three children and documents their preparations for whatever upcoming pageant is being featured on the episode. It interviews the children and the parents, then follows the three to the pageant, switching back and forth between them. It ends with crowning and final thoughts. Last night's three were dream teams of parent and children.

1) Mackenzie - Her mother is under her control

This 4-year-old knows what she wants and she does not hesitate to kick, scream, hide in closets, and whip out her sharp tongue to get it. Mackenzie dominates, and her mother seems to know this. She doesn't try to control her. In reviews I read, everyone seems to name this mother-daughter duo as the worst in the episode and Mackenzie as the most horrible child. I disagree. Mackenzie is out of control, but it's what's you would from a 4-year-old pageant child. She has a cute and funny personality, and I think she would be as sparkly as her completely inappropriate eye shadow if her mother knew how to discipline. And maybe if she wasn't thrown into baby beauty pageants. Whatever.


I like how she really exaggerates her southern accent when she's dressed up.

2) Scarlett and Isabella - When they learn to talk, I hope they yell at their mommy

The mother with her one year old twins was priceless. Oh, no, actually, there is a price. The mother with her twins was $250,000 because that's how much she spent to get her twins started in beauty pageants. She says she decided to enter them before they were even born and has a room full of dresses that cost between $1000-$2000 each. Remember that they are babies and outgrow their dresses before the dress maker is even finished adding the jewels. They take a private jet to pageants, and she name-drops designers many times during the episode.

I can't find a video or picture of these people yet, but that's okay. They're nothing special. The babies aren't anything special. They're cute like all chubby-cheeked babies are cute, but Gerber won't be calling them for a photo shoot. The mother said she's been married more times than she wants to say and looks like a heavy smoker with tattoo'd arms and a drawn face, which we notice as she talks about the importance of facial beauty.

What made me laugh out loud was how she actually gives pep talks to her daughters. They're barely a year old. They can't even stand yet. She tells them "You need to do your best in this pageant" blah blah blah and yells at one child to look at her. This lady is delusional if she thinks she can give a pep talk to a baby, but I guess when you spend a quarter of a million dollars to play dress up with infants, the reality ship has already left the dock.

3) Danielle - 8 years old and pure evil. Nothing else.

I think this is best described with a quote.

"If I don't win, I *will* trash the hotel room."

Watch her in action. I was actually hoping for her not to win. This brat needs to be backhanded. She whined about other girls stealing her spotlight. She says she doesn't believe in beauty sleep because she's naturally beautiful. She says she doesn't like to wear makeup because she knows she's beautiful enough without it. She says she would jump on the judges if she didn't win. She ran off the stage crying when she lost supreme title. I was satisfied. Such a little biotch.

Another observation: So many of the pageant moms who babble on about the importance of physical beauty look like Danielle's mom.


I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that they are living through their daughters.

Love,
Juliana

I feel like a bad person, but...

I get excited about college when I think of it as an escape from all the relationships that make me feel trapped and from all the people I don't like. As much as it scares me, as much as I'm not ready for it, and as much as I'll miss my family and best friends, I kinda like the idea of a new beginning. I won't start college committed to anyone, and the constricting ropes of some of my current relationships will loosen and let me breathe again. Hopefully I won't make the same mistakes in college and get into these situations all over again.

Love,
Juliana

Fishing for attention

I probably shouldn't laugh at this, but it makes me laugh every time.


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It's such a pet peeve of mine when people post stuff like this. I think if you were really desperate enough to commit suicide, you would just do it. You wouldn't tell everyone. If you broadcast it on Facebook of all places, it's because you want people to tell you how much they love you and you're really not going to do it. I know people who get too emotional and write stuff like this in statuses and it's usually in bad grammar. I always want to correct their grammar and say "If this is going to be your last status update, you might as well have made it a grammatically correct one."

I'm not insensitive. It's just like the boy who cried wolf. When people post a status like this one time in a serious situation, that's one thing. When they constantly post dramatic things like this, it's just fishing for attention.

Love,
Juliana

When happens when your best is not good enough?

It sucks to be told you're not good enough. It sucks more to be told you're not good enough when you actually try, but it sucks the most to be told you're not good enough when you try your best to do something you actually care about. It hurts to know your best isn't good enough.

You know why I try to get good grades in school? It's not because of a stupid letter on a piece of paper, it's not because of my parents, and it's not because of college. I need those grades to feel good about myself because that's really all I have to make me feel like I'm worth something.

Not sure if people realize this because I didn't even realize until recently, but I'm competitive and I'm a sore loser. I can't be happy for someone who beats me. I know that's immature and makes me a horrible person, but there are people I need to compete with and people I need to beat. I constantly compare myself to other people. I didn't realize just how much I do it until I thought about it, but I not only can't go a day without comparing myself to other people but I can't even go an hour. It affects everything I do and I base my self-worth on how I compare to other people.

Let me say first here that I hate rubrics. They're boring, annoying, and allow people to write a horrible paper that hits the criteria of the rubric and scores perfect. I do however acknowledge the need for them because without them, how would you know what's good and what's bad? I did my oral for Theory of Knowledge today on beauty as a symbol of status in society, and even though I'm probably going to get a devastating grade despite pouring my soul into it, I think there is a lot of truth to the idea of people needing a hierarchy, whether it be based on beauty, grades, skill, etc, to give them a real-life rubric. They often complain about it and say they don't like it, but they're the ones who let it consume their thoughts and dictate their behavior. Whose fault is it?

The people I like best are the ones who don't color in the lines. I love brilliant people who can't fit a rubric, even when they try their hardest, but they always write the most interesting things you'd ever want to read. I like artists who can create something imaginative without rules. I envy them. I wish I had that ability to create something from scratch that would blow people's minds.

I can't do this. I'm not great at anything, even though I would like to be. I used to want to be a writer. No rules, no rubric, no grades. All I would have to do is write something people want to read, and I was confident that I could do that. I got realistic and realized that there are thousands of people who want to be writers and the majority can't get published or make a career out of it. What makes me think I'm special?

I'm not. No one should think they are.

Love,

Juliana

My List of 10 Creepy Kids Shows

There are so many adorable kids' shows that just make you happy even if you aren't four years old anymore, but for every Arthur there is a Teletubbie, and for the Power Rangers there are The Wiggles. What makes a creepy kids show? Unsettling puppets, clowns, adults pretending to be children, hands with eyes...Creepiness is purest when it's unintentional, and nothing can give you the same feeling of unease you get from watching four grown men sing about fruit salad or fat colorful fluffballs with baby heads swirl around.

These are the ten children's shows I think belong on a list of creepy.

The Teletubbies - Personally, I don't think the Teletubbies are all that creepy, just weird. I think the whole adoption of Tinkie Winkie as a gay symbol is creepy, but that's just adults once again ruining children's shows with sex. People always ruin innocent things. Weird colorful alien things that make weird noises and have TVs in their stomachs are strange creatures, but the one thing that gives me a weird feeling in my stomach is that sun baby. What is that? The sun baby with it's strange laugh and gazing eyes...the first time I've ever been creeped out by a baby.

The Wiggles - I loved The Wiggles when I was little, but it's a little unsettling to watch four grown men wiggle. Although I promote their effort to encourage wiggling among the youth population, it's uncomfortable to watch them do the wiggling.

Angela Anaconda - I watched this when I was little because the animation interested me, but holy crap is this weird. They look like magazine cut-outs of faces pasted on cartoon bodies and they move like paper dolls.

Howdy Doody - This show was on way before I was born and I never saw it, but this puppet is going to haunt my dreams.

Oobi - Hands. With eyes. That talk. I wouldn't call this one creepy, but it's definitely weird. My question here: Why? Do preschool aged children really have such simplistic minds that they can be entertained watching hands on a TV screen? If they're going to watch Oobi, they might as well just make their own hand puppets.



Wonder Pets - I think this show is more annoying than creepy. This was my final choice, and it was between this and The Backyardigans, but I don't think The Backyardigans can be considered creepy. I just hate them. The Wonder Pets are cartoons made to look like real animals that sing, but the creepier thing is their attempted baby voices. They don't match, and the songs combined with the animation is just...unsettling. My sister used to watch this show, and I could never decide whether I thought it was cute or creepy. All I knew was I felt uncomfortable watching it, and I don't think that's what guinea pigs, baby ducks, and turtles are supposed to make you feel.



Boohbah - I have two theories for the creation of Boobah. The first is that the creator was tripping acid. The second is that this was an attempt to outdo The Teletubbies' weirdness. Someone saw Tinkie Winkie, Dipsy, Lala, and Po and thought "Nope, not creepy enough. We can do better." I would say they succeeded. This truly screws with your mind. Once I start this video, I can't look away.

The Doodlebops - I hate clowns. I don't know who decided clowns were funny. The only funny thing about them is the funny feeling I get when they come too close. The Doodlebops combine the weirdness of adults wiggling with the scariness of clowns. The pink one's hair looks like it's plastic. I'm sure if she decided to take her revenge, she could kill you with her head.



Lazy Town - This Circa 2006 Icelandic Nick Jr. show scares me more than any of the others, even Boobah. The pink haired girl who is more flexible than any normal little girl, a superhero with a pedo-fake mustache, and the villian with plastic chin extensions together with the weird-looking puppets all in an uncomfortable setting make for a weird show. The girl's name is Julianna actually, and she was 15 in this show. I know. She doesn't look 15. Because of the ridiculous gymnastics she does, when you search this show you get more icky results from perverted adults than you do about the actual show.

I could have put Mr. Rogers on this list, but I don't think he belongs on it. I don't think he's creepy. I always felt like watching that show was like spending some time with someone else's grandpa, and even though it was boring, it was comforting.

Conclusion? Um. Creepy kids shows are creepy.

Love,
Juliana

Miss Independent? Mistaken.

I hate how much I need other people. I wish I didn't need my friends to make me happy, and I wish that I wasn't so afraid of everyone else. When my friends decide to skip a pep rally, all decide to stare into their math books at lunch, or cancel plans last minute, I let it break me. In those situations, I always wish I could be cool with it, say in my head "I don't need you," and go talk to some other people like a normal person...but I can't. I make the most awkward attempts to talk and when I do forget to be afraid and act like myself, I get embarrassed. I can't come out of my shell...not because I'm protecting myself but because I feel so inferior to them that I don't think I deserve to come out.

I still feel like the freshman in a room of seniors, even when I'm the senior in a room of freshmen. I hope one day I stop being a scared little freshman and lose the shell, but that's been at the top of my wish list for a long time and I don't think it's getting much better.

Love,
Juliana