I was too tired to finish this last night, but I have two more things that were so funny I didn't want the 2 AM exhaustion to make me more incoherent than usual.
JASPER'S FACE!!! That can't be explained in words, and I can't find any pictures that do it justice. When the Cullens first walk in during the beginning of the movie, Bella's friend Jessica (who was dead-on accurate to book Jessica) said something like "That's the one who always looks like he's in pain." His face was like wide-eyed stone statue face like he just saw a bear. I think he supposed to be all pain-stricken because he was trying so hard to control his blood-thirst in a room full of humans, but the face was...fabulous.
Another thing. Why were the Cullens so clingy? Jasper and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett walked around with their arms wrapped around each other awkwardly in nearly every appearance. They were supposed to act casual at school in order to blend in, look like a normal family, and not draw attention. In the movie, it was like heads turn when they walk in a room. The movie tried to give the Cullens more of a "weirdness" factor by making a big deal about "oh, wow, they're adopted brothers and sisters and they do that?" They're just supposed to sit quietly in the corner, not climb all over each other and draw attention. Ostentatious.
They interrupted scenes that were supposed to be critical and serious with stupid random stuff so you can't not laugh just because of the timing. Jacob and Bella's conversation about wolves and vampire legends on the beach was interrupted with this girl from her school screaming girlishly while this guy chased her around with a snake. Stuff like that happened a lot, and you can't not laugh.
Okay, here are the things about the movie that was actually really good Twilight to movie translation, or just good decisions.
The casting for the whole Cullen family was great. I think Rob might have been okay for the part if he acted more Edward-like, though I don't think his (the actor himself's) looks and mannerisms are very Edward, even if he did step up the acting. All the actors for the family definitely fit the parts and translated them well (Jasper! That killed me.) Victoria, Laurent, and James, and the high school kids were alright, too. None of those characters were mangled too badly.
Basically, this movie is as shallow as the trailer makes it seem. Maybe it was meant to mirror the shallowness of the series but in a different way. If this was a parody, it would be the most epic movie, the social context of having Bella represent typical teen girls entrenched in what they think is love, and Edward standing for the bad boy that these girls should avoid but can't.
I'm the last person to say I believe that 17-year-olds can fall in love for real, but reading the books, I believed in Bella and Edward. The movie though...if the whole point of that brilliant disaster was to parody Twilight's superficiality, I commend them and give it a 10. If not, than they just missed the target and gave me a good laugh.
So worth it. Sooo worth it. I will buy this and watch it a million times for Edward's facial expressions alone. Go see this and tell me what you think! <333
Juliana!
Wait you think that Twilight is shallow how? I don't see why. By the way I agree with a lot of the things you say for example how all the character fit there part (well in my opinion all except Edward, but he did the best he could). Rosalie was absolutely perfect same with the rest of the cullens and Jessica too. i also agree about the whole thing you said about how they were really clingy they werent supposed to be like that i thought. I think the movie ended up being funny because the actors didnt put enough feeling into there characters which made serious things look funny. Anyways i enjoyed reading your thoughts on the movie read mine on my blog once i post them. :)
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