Spongebob's "homosexuality." Palease.

I was visiting the amazing Wikipedia for some information about Spongebob. That show has really gone downhill, and I wanted to know if and when there was a change in writers. I stumbled upon a section on the Wikipedia page called "criticism" with discussion of the problems certain groups have with Spongebob's implied homosexuality.

Hold on. We're talking about the same Spongebob, right? The cartoon yellow kitchen sponge from a children's show who lives in the ocean inside a pineapple in a town called Bikini Bottom down the street from a talking starfish, a squid who plays clarinet, a crab with a whale for a daughter, and a squirrel who wears a space suit to breathe underwater? This is the Spongebob we're talking about, right?

Okay, just checking. Spongebob is one of those things that's meant to be taken for face value. If they tell you he lives in a pineapple under the sea, you just go with it. You don't ask how, you don't try to figure it out. You just go with it. This is the same for Spongebob's sexuality. If there isn't one, there isn't one. Stop looking for it.

The writers, the directors, the producers all said that they had no sexual orientation in mind for Spongebob because, after all, he's a cartoon kitchen sponge, but that they consider Spongebob to be asexual. Spongebob said himself in an episode that he can reproduce by budding. The creators of the show did not even consider it.

Some group called the We are Family Foundation used Spongebob in a video to promote gay rights and tolerance. These religious groups freaked out and deemed Spongebob inappropriate for children. In my opinion, these people are morons.

Kitchen sponges do not have sexual orientations, so shut up, turn off Nickelodeon, and go take a literature class somewhere. Literary analysis is all about looking for hidden sexual implications. Spongebob is for laughing at the antics of impossible characters as they catch jellyfish and blow bubbles. Please don't put sex into Spongebob.

Love,
Juliana

There are so many things I don't know

That scares me more than anything.
Oh, and this post is dedicated to someone.
Dear smartass,
Bite me.
Love,
Juliana

SUMMER NIGHTS IN SPANISH

This post was originally titled "Why is there no Greased Lightning on Youtube?" and I was going to babble about how much I love Grease and how High School Musical ripped it off, but then I found THIS.



LOVE ♥ LOVE ♥ LOVE ♥ LOVE ♥ LOVE ♥ LOVE ♥

I also love that I can understand it. It's similar. It starts "In the summer, something happened. In the summer, everything changed. A girl was crazy for me. He watched me...something I don't understand...days of sun...nights of love..." Hehe I will work on figuring out the lyrics.

I don't think I would be this excited if it wasn't midnight. Weird things happen to me at midnight.

Love,
Juliana

When flirting isn't flirting, is it still flirting?

I was reading about body language because ♥ stumbleupon.com ♥ linked me to a page, and there was a section on signs of flirting. I got a little nervous because I do all the things on the list, but not with the intention of flirting. The people I "flirt" with know it's not flirting. That makes it okay, right?

I'm not talking about flirting as in playful contact with cute stranger you meet at party. If you want to trace circles on the back of stranger cute guy's hand while you giggle at his lame jokes, don't blame society for tagging it as flirting. I'm talking about the subtle expression of interest between people who do know each other. You know, it's the kind of implicit indication, the things you do to that guy you like to gage his interest in you based on his reaction and safely say "hey, I like you" without risking anything. It's a legitimate skill, but are you still flirting when you don't think you are?

I've observed this in other people, girls who get close to guys because they are securely in the "friends zone." It doesn't matter what they do because everyone involved knows it's meaningless. Once you've reassigned meaning (or lack of meaning) to body language, it's no longer flirting. Problem is, what happens when you think you've changed the meaning, but the other person doesn't know that?

I was helping a guy analyze a girl's flirting signals. They sound like flirting to me, but she told him she wants to be friends. He thinks her body language and implications say otherwise. Maybe she's intentionally flirting, but maybe she's just ignoring the rules and taking meaning away from body language because she thinks they have an understanding. That makes so much sense because I do it, too. I have a friend I just do anything around because we have an understanding. I probably do everything on the flirting list, but I don't mean it as flirting. He knows I don't mean it as flirting. Sometimes I wonder though if he really knows it's meaningless. It's just easier not to have to walk on egg shells and censor my actions. You're not special because you're a guy, so I'm not going to worry about how I act around you. A friend is a friend...but what if they don't know that?

Errors in communication make this annoying when other people aren't aware that you reassigned meaning to body language. It becomes less of an indication of interest and more of a miscommunication of the status of the relationship. I can name countless TV shows and movies where a girl's behavior is mistaken by the guy as interest when the girl just thinks they're good friends (or vice versa).

So what defines flirting, the action or the intention? I don't think you can ever be sure of it because intentions are never certain, and when actions depend on the intentions behind them, flirting is flirting with disaster. Disaster, or at least some comedy as old as time without a laugh track to tell you it's funny.

Love,
Juliana

To Sir with Love

Dear Mr. Crazy,

I am working on your lab right now and thinking of you. You know, the lab you assigned on the last day of your class and made due on the first day of exams. I am writing to tell you how much I enjoy figuring out how to make a distribution curve to compare the sizes of my classmates' earlobes. I feel that this is contributing to my education and my life in a profound way, and I would like to thank you for the opportunity to stay up late on a Thursday night and spend some quality time with Microsoft Excel. In the last year, the time I spent staring at weeds and drawing fish has given me a new appreciation for both nature and Crayola. There were times where I had you and your class on my mind for days intertwined with sleepless nights filled with dreams of aerobic respiration.

I need to make this letter short because my data table is calling me, but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry we didn't get to spend more time together this year. I will be searching for you tomorrow at lunch to turn in this lab. It will no doubt be fantastic, considering how much respect I have for both you and this assignment. I hope in the future I have another chance to measure the earlobes of my classmates on the last day of school.

Sincerely,
The girl from 7th period, in the front row on the left

Some thoughts

You know that weird relationship you have with the friends of your friends? You get along well in a group of people, but when it's just the two of you, you have no idea what to talk about, and it's just awkward. I love those times when something happens between the two of you and you suddenly become actual friends. I love breaking that barrier. It's weird though when you go the opposite direction, when your friend drifts away and becomes a friend of a friend. You now force uncomfortable conversation with someone you used to joke around with. It's strange.

Words

I like making lists of words that sound cool. I was bored of studying and made a game out of one of these lists. I had to try to put them together to make sense. This is what I ended up with.

Artistic invention. Another dimension. Invisible waves. The darkest caves. Fear, ice cold. Echoes told. Moments alone. The sword in the stone. Intense illusions. Shocking conclusions. They melt in heat, skipping beats, these hearts that speak. Logic weak. Fantasize. Intensifies. Releasing the restrained. Immersed and uncontained. In darkness glows. In silence screams. The truth in lies, in fantasies, dreams.

I realized it turned out like a poem. Kinda cool. I never write poems. I didn't use all my words but I added some. I guess that's okay.

Love,
Juliana